.....but the blood of Jesus can wash away my sins. The more I see my sins, the more I'm thankful for Jesus and his blood that was shed for me. With motherhood on the forefront of my mind before and after this past weekend, I've spent time in prayer and thought trying to evaluate myself as a mother. God heard me and put in front of me something quite alarming. I've been deeply convicted about my failure to be the bride of Christ and my husband's bride above all else. To put those two things first and make sure the kids know they are both first - before them! It's kind of one of those areas that I feel like saying, "DUH!!" But that would be arrogant. I've never thought of myself as being a child centered parent because I've always believed that's not in the child's best interest. However, having my eyes opened to my failure, I am feeling the weight of my sin, but I praise God for exposing it to me. I praise God more that my sin (not in part, but the whole) has been washed away by the blood of Jesus. It is so easy to make sure I meet all my children's needs and take my husbands needs much more lightly (because he's a big boy - he can take care of himself unlike they can). But that is not good enough. It's not God's plan. Being a good mother involves teaching my children and showing them by example what honoring their father looks like... what loving a husband looks like... what serving a husband looks like. It's like I've known that God and my husband need to stay top priority, but it was more head knowledge. I knew it in my head, but it was not burned into my heart and being lived in conviction with consistency! And now God has brought it before me and in His power touched my heart with it, exposing my sin and laying out His will concerning it all so clearly. For example, I will stop everything to tuck my children in bed, sing to them, listen intently, and tell them how I can't wait to spend the next day with them... but often when dear husband announces he is heading off to bed (and I know even though he doesn't say it that he would like me to come too) I will sometimes just keep reading whatever I am deep into, saying goodnight to my sweetheart, putting myself and what I want to do before him. Jonathan's not fussed about this and he is confident of my love, but that's beside the point. That was just one example of something I felt God had stand out to me recently and some things are going to change because God is changing me, slowly one step at a time. I'm left in awe of His ways, His plan, and ever thankful that God has allowed me to see my failure in this area. For now, I'll end with this:

Joseph sings all the time. He sings while he is cleaning, playing, in the bathroom.... He sings while he is concentrating on drawing at his desk. This was one of those times. He kept singing this song and being repetitive. I ran to get the camera - put it on audio recording and sat it on the chair beside his desk and just let it record. I'm sad that I started laughing at the end. I'm not laughing at the content of the song!!  I just couldn't help myself as I began to wonder if he was ever going to stop singing the "absolutely nothing" part. He was just looking down at his paper as He was singing. He knew I was right there and began to smirk, but he did not know I was recording him. Had I not started laughing, who knows how long the repetition or this song would have ended up being! But oh how I love the "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" part.... because it's a very essential (part of the) Truth!

...well, speaking for our children - the chores they love would include anything that involves wiping, scrubbing, and especially spraying. Translation: they don't get so excited about cleaning up their toys or papers. However, I couldn't help but want to quickly snap just several pictures (in fact here are all three of them I took) today of our children so anxiously cleaning our rug in the living room after it had some loose leakage from Claire's diaper get on it. Unfortunately that is part of the virus that we (and almost every other child we're close to) has dealt with to some extent over the last two weeks. Just when I thought we were passed it Joseph woke with an upset tummy last night and lets just say it wasn't good. I ended up setting him up a bed on the living room floor (that's what you see in the background of the third pic) and slept on the couch near him for the rest of the night. Joseph has seemed fine today and very playful despite him and Claire having some loose bowels. I didn't write this post to announce that to the world though! I'm writing this post because of how tickled I got over Joseph so sweetly saying, "Mom, I'd be happy to help you clean that up." Those were his exact words, when really what he was saying was "Mom, pleeeeeeease let me help you." After I got Claire all cleaned up with a quick shower, Joseph went to spraying my favorite all purpose non-toxic cleaner for me while I scrubbed it in with a rag to help get the stains out of the carpet. Claire caught on and was helping her little heart out as she scrubbed here and scrubbed there (and anywhere really). It wasn't long before the "fun" drew Natalie in as well. I didn't want to use a flash and obviously they were moving so the pictures are blurry, but I didn't mean for these pictures to be pretty! I took them to preserve a memory for my mother's heart. Quite frankly I'm tired of cleaning up after this virus and them jumping to the occasion with such "JOY" just made my day. Not one of these pictures is staged.

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and do some advertising for the cleaner that I love. It's AFM SafeChoice (concentrated) Super Clean all purpose cleaner & degreaser. It contains no phosphates, alkalines, acids, ammonia, butyl ethers, chlorine bleach, nor any chemical scents used to mask the odors caused by such harsh compounds. It is people safe (though you CANNOT drink it!) It claims it does not irritate sensitive skin, nor does it give off noxious fumes (I can verify that - I can't even stand Simple Green fumes) yet it is strong enough for industrial strength cleaning chores. For routine home cleaning you dilute 20:1 (20 parts water to 1 part cleaner). This is so easy to have ready in a spray bottle for whenever needed. I'm a firm believer in using natural things such as baking soda, vinegar, and peroxide for cleaning as well, but I just LOVE having this spray ready and handy at all times without the smell that vinegar has. It does a GREAT job at taking out smells even though it doesn't really have any scent (I have experienced it taking care of a urine smell on a cushion, mattress, or carpet instantly)! Last week it got ball point pen off my sofa! I've used it on counters, sinks, refrigerator, stove, tub, shower, tile, to clean my painted walls, doors, and as you know to clean my sofa and carpet. I just LOVE it. I mainly love that when I use it that it doesn't leave a fumy scent lingering in the room or house. You can use it for heavy duty cleaning jobs diluted at half cleaner/half water for jobs such as ovens, lime deposits, soap scum, mold and mildew stains, grills, engines, grout, concrete (I should test it on the oil stain on our driveway!), laundry (I've never tried it out on laundry, but I've always meant to experiement with it on baby clothes and kids stains), decks, smoke stains, and pet odors.

Okay, so I did not intend to write much now, but having just titled this post "Balancing Act" because of the pictures I'm posting I'm thinking: Is life not one big balancing act??  For me, it is!!  I am always having to remind myself and my children that there is a time for everything. I have found that FOR ME - if I'm going to use my time wisely, that I have to be intentional about it. Being wise with my time doesn't come naturally to me. By nature I am absolutely not a scheduler! I'm a list maker - and so (like the poem quoted by Elizabeth Elliot, Do the next thing, says) " all through the hours the quiet words ring, like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing' ". I've always preferred not to have my entire life bound to specific time frames and what not. Even still, being a wife and mom who has had to work on using my time wisely, I've begun to believe that my not attempting to schedule more things is working to my disadvantage. So recently I decided to make a personal "home management" plan. I'm still in the progress of perfecting it to "fit" our family. I want to be committed to it simply because God has said there is a time for everything and a lot of the time I feel like there certainly isn't time for EVERYTHING. But God said there is. This is a point blank fact. Knowing this, is part of knowing and finding how to use my time wisely. Jonathan can be heard quoting from Ecclesiates 3 in conversation with the kids every so often and I always find it a refreshing reminder to my soul as well, because it is a God thing. God is a God of order. I don't want to serve my "master plan/schedule". I want it to serve me while I serve my Master. For He knows we need some order in our lives rather than randomly doing whatever we want, whenever we want. It's seen in his creation:

There is day and there is night,
a week to work and a day to rest,
(and as we often specifically remind our children)
a time to be awake and a time to sleep, 
a time to play and a time to work,
a time to make a mess and a time to clean up, 
a time to talk and a time to be quiet,
a time to be goofy and a time to be serious...etc.

When I get tagged as being the "Show Stopper" it is always nice to remind the kids (and myself!) that God ordained our lives to be this way (although serving Him does require one to be spontaneous as well - but the neat thing is that I'm believing now that more of a schedule can afford me to serve God much more spontaneously)! 

.......................... And now for those pictures I downloaded of our balancing act.

Has my little girl really grown to be this long?
She's been practicing balancing on her hands and head and can now do it!

Joseph's been practicing but hasn't quite mastered it.
"Mommy, can you do it?"



Mommy can do it.... and so Natalie wanted to take a picture.
Next, mommy tried to see if she could still do cart wheels. She could!
But she did one too many and pulled a muscle. She is not so young anymore!

Without being prompted (and probably feeling left out), Claire decided to show us what trick
she could do.We all cheered and gave her a big hand clap for her balancing act!



rising slowly but steadily...... to being quite proud of herself!

May we take pleasure in balancing our lives to the glory of our God, taking pleasure in
our enjoyment and "in all our toil", for they are gifts from God (Eccl 3:13). 
I think I'll end this post with the Word of God.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 9-13

 ¹For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...

 ....⁹What gain has the worker from his toil? ¹⁰I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. ¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. ¹²I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; ¹³also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.

My mom's side of the family has a private family website for everyone to stay connected through. My Uncle Craig (Jakki's husband) recently posted this picture of my aunt in 2008 running what would be one of her last marathon's as she died this past Easter Sunday in a boating accident. My Aunt Jakki (age 44) was a fitness trainer and opened up a YMCA in the area she lived in. Without doubt I know her life touched countless others! I can just see her encouraging and pushing others (in a good way!) with her usual determination to better themselves. In reference to her mom, one of the first things my cousin Tiffany said to me through her tears was, "I thought she was going to out live me." My Aunt Jakki's death was a startling reminder of how life can be unexpectedly taken in a flash. She shall surely be missed in our family. I am asking my friends to lift up my cousins, Tiffany, Marc, and Richard in their prayers during this very difficult time of having just lost their mom as well as for my Uncle Craig.

I like this picture of my Aunt Jakki. I can't help but want to share the Bible verses I love about running this race of life with endurance for Christ and running as to get the prize that is Heaven with God - a prize more glorious than anyone can even BEGIN TO IMAGINE!
As it is written:


"no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
   nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him"  - 1 Corinthians 2:9

I'll say these verses about "running" sure encourage me! God wants us to have our eyes set on the prize.

Hebrews 12:1-2
^"1Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and  let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." 

1 Corinthians 9:24
^"24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. ²⁵Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. ²⁶So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. ²⁷But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

While I remember my Aunt Jakki,
I pray that her death would make others pause and think
about the end of their own race and ask themselves if they are running
for a perishable prize or imperishable prize...
if they are running for God or running away from God,
for these are important questions. 

She will be missed!

   
This picture is from our last family reunion in 2007. My Aunt Jakki is third in from the bottom right. We are especially lifting my Uncle Craig, Tiffany, Marc, and Richard (who is not in the picture) in our prayers.